Shit Talkers and The Like

I've been involved in one of my first real social settings in Melbourne recently. I'm not an insociable hermit of any kind, I've just been focussed on my job hunt and have been too poor to venture out and about, jumping into social scenes. This social setting has been an experience. It's been like heading back to school. 9am - 3pm everyday, classroom setting, learning, homework. But it made me realise how long it's been since I've found myself in a setting where I have to introduce myself to a whole group of people, make friends (as such), and socialise with complete strangers.

It was weird.

A week on, most of the awkward conversation has passed. But a week on, you have learnt the nature of most peoples' characters. You get a feel for who these people are. And goodness gracious the paper! This week has been close to torture at times. I have recognised and, to be honest, labelled the characters I've come across.

Exhibit A: The Know-it-All
A pain in my ass. Generally people who are confident yet arrogant. Exhibit A's idea of conversation, is shit. It consists of bragging and elitist bullshit with a sprinkle of speaking over everyone. Their tone is pompous and they like to be-little everyone else at any chance they get.

Exhibit B: The Rambler
Be aware of The Rambler at all times. Exhibit B springs up out of nowhere in coversations. How their idea relates to the topic of conversation, can range anywhere between slightly and extremely on point. Be warned, The Rambler can hold you hostage! Have a number of conversation stoppers handy to exit the conversation when you don't want to hear anymore merry-go-round stories about their childhood horse's stable.

Exhibit C: The 'I Love My Own Voice' Asshole
My pet peeve. These Assholes literally love the sound of their own voice. Any chance given to them to speak, is snatched up quick, like a 2-for-1 at Showgirls. Exhibit Cs tend to have a bit of The Rambler in them, and they can raise their opinions on dog biscuits when the group is discussing market research. This Asshole doesn't care if their answer is right or wrong, they simply want a bit of attention.

Exhibit D: The Repeat Questioner
Pretty self explanatory, Exhibit D is a prisoner to their self-doubt. The instructions or answer have been given, and The Repeat Questioner feels the need to ask and clarify this two seconds later. Exhibit asks questions that they definitely have the answer to, over and over again. There's nothing wrong with clarification, but quadruple clarification, thirty seconds apart is beyond ridiculous.

Exhibit E: The Story Teller
Similar to the Rambler at times, the Story Teller has a story for every example given in class. Whether they were fourteen when it happened, or forty, they feel the need to let the whole group know of the time they bought a bagless vacuum cleaner and had a part of it replaced under warranty. Interesting. Yawn.


I'm not a bitch, I'm not (excessively) judgemental, but sometimes I want to get things done without the above making things difficult. It's always good to have a smidgen of them in your environments, but anything over a smidgen and I'm driven to the rolling of eyes - and that's just rude. Do us a both a favour, my dear Exhibits A through E, and help yourselves.

Vampire Weekend - Oxford Comma

First the window, then it's to the wall/

Lil' Jon, he always tells the truth/

Did not know those were the words! Vampire Weekend for the lols.